I was reading earlier when a memory from a time in junior high popped into my head. Like all kids my friends and I used to do the straw and spitball thing to annoy one another during class and eventually it escalated to shooting at the teachers when they weren't looking.

Of course there is always some punk who takes it beyond the boundary. I remember we had a substitute one time and she was writing something on the blackboard. While she was doing that I shot a kid named Dave in my class with a spitball. I was laughing silently when I looked over at him and he looked back at me. He then held up a sheet of paper and stuffed it in his mouth! I remember thinking "WTF???" and he just smiled with a devilish grin.

I knew I didn't want to be on the receiving end of that HUGE spitball so I quickly scribbled "You Win!" on a piece of paper and surrendered like a Frenchman. He smiled and scribbled a note of his own, then held it up. It read "I can't swallow it, so what now?"

I started laughing again and pointed at the blackboard. The Sub. was still going to town writing something long and boring up there. Dave smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I then turned back towards the board to watch the show. A few seconds later a loud, 'THWAP!' hit the board and just about everyone jumped in their seats! Right near the Sub. was a big white blob sticking to the board! Heheheheheheheh

I don't really remember what happened after that, just that the class all burst out laughing and the Sub. flipped and demanded to know who threw it. No one said a word and the laughter semi-died down. It quickly started up again when the Sub. used a ruler to peel the giant spitball from the blackboard and flip it into a trash can.

Heheheheheh, oh man, those where the days.


posted by WarWolf

Comment on Post?
@17:42 EST 3.2.2002 Motorcycle Moments
I was staring at the wall the other day, and all of a sudden a bunch of the wacky things I did when I had a motorcycle popped into my head. As we all know, I like to share, so here we go. Oh yeah, this is by no means a complete list of the shit I did :)

Moment 1
My buddy Dion and I were heading to Belmont Park from his house, and during the ride we started racing eachother. It started when we were making the change from the north/south highway to the east/west highway. As we came off the ramp, he juiced it and I was like "that fucker!" so I sped up to catch him. He started to slow down because of traffic (the fool!) while I just zipped between the cars and kept going! We changed positions a few times because of traffic and I remember looking at my speed, it was close to 100mph usually, and climbing to 120-130mph when there weren't any cars.

After a few miles we came to the off ramp we needed and took it. At the bottom was a traffic signal so we had to wait because it was red. I remember looking over at Dion and giving him the thumbs-up. All of a sudden we both heard some loud talking. I remember thinking, "man someone has their radio on loud!" Then the message became clear, it was "Pull over and shut your bikes off and drop your keys on the ground!" Oh shit!

Dion looked at me, and I looked at him, and then we both looked behind us. It was one of the all black Mustangs the Highway Patrol used. We called them stealth cops because you could never see em coming...bastards! After we saw him we looked at each other again and just shrugged our shoulders.

We then followed his orders and pulled our bikes off the road and put our keys on the ground. At that point he got out of the car and came over to us. He asked us the typical "do you know why I pulled you over?" Dion: "oh man, do I have a taillight out?" Me: "not a clue."

He's like, "well lets put it this way, I heard you guys go racing by just as I got off the highway (me thinking: damn Dion and that loud, but sweet sounding aftermarket pipe!) and I immediately got back on and started pursuit. But after getting up to 140mph I still wasn't gaining on you guys too much." Dion/Me thinking, "no shit, cool!"

He then goes on, "do you guys know how fast you were going?" Me:"I'm not gonna lie to ya sir, probably about 110mph" He's like, "no you guys were doing about 90mph." Dion and I looked at one another again, while the cop went on: "Look if you guys were doing over 100mph I'd have to impound your bikes and arrest ya, so how about you admit to 90mph and take these tickets." (wasn't a question, definitely a statement)

So he started writing up the tickets and we started having a friendly chat with the guy. Of course Dion always pushes things, so he asks "Dude, if we decided to run, which one of us would you have gone after?" (Me thinking: dude shut the fuck up!) The cop just laughed and shook his head.

Moment 2
Another time I was racing with Dion down the highway heading to a party. We came to a crossover ramp from the north/south highway to the east/west highway. And once again that bastard shot off like a rocket! I saw him lean the bike over on it's left side and stick his knee out. Since he had a faster bike I knew I had to beat him in the turn and get a better drive once we got on the main highway again.

So I dropped down a gear and took off after him, and was able to get close to him and slide my bike under his to take the inside of the turn. We were so close at this point, I could lift my right foot a bit and tap him on his left elbow (which I didn't). The bad thing was, if my bike lost traction and crashed, since I was on the inside I would have taken him down with me.

I remember glancing over just as he noticed me that close and his eyes going wide! Heheheh, poor bastard I thought he would shit himself. I forgot to mention we were doing about 70mph at this point. So if we had gone down, we would have bounced back and forth off the walls of the crossover ramp quite a few times before coming to a halt. So anyway, he freaks seeing me come under him with only a few inches to spare and taps his brakes and drifts a bit wide. All I remember thinking, was "so long sucker!" and getting on the gas some more since I now had some breathing room.

By the time the turn was ending, I still had good momentum to help me accelerate once we hit the straight, while Dion screwed himself by tapping the brake a bit. So once we hit the straight I juiced it to 100+mph to try to leave him in the dust. But then we came up to the off ramp we needed and I had to slow down :( At the party we talked about it and had some good laughs. Dion was like "Dude, what the fuck, you surprised me! I glanced over and was like 'Oh shit!' and tapped my brake and then kicked myself for doing that!"

Heheheheh, sucker.

Moment 3
A guy I knew bought a ZX10 motorcycle and at the time it was released it was the fastest bike you could get off a showroom floor. It topped out at 185mph! I remember bugging him everyday to let me take it for a spin. He wasn't too keen on the idea because I had a reputation as a crasher...all lies I tell ya! ;)

So one day he relented and tossed me the keys. Sucker. I promised I would behave and just take it down the strip and back...no highway or top speed tests. First thing I noticed getting on the bike was that it was FUCKIN HUGE! So I got this pig fired up and outta Belmont Park where we hung out and heading down the strip.

I figured I would take it easy since the bike wasn't as light and nimble as mine. So I thought oh well, just try to pick up some chicks. This was back when California didn't have helmet laws so it was pretty fun cruising the strip on a bike. Nothing really happened until I was on my way back to Belmont Park. I was sitting at the light which had just changed to red when some guys pulled up next to me in the other lane to wait also. The guy looks at the bike then at me, and says "Dude, you gonna punch it?" Me: "nah, it's not my bike...but ah shit why not, watch this!"

So the light turns green and I punch it! I was expecting a huge wheelie or something, but the bike just accelerrates HARD, and I'm holding on for fear the thing is gonna shoot me off the back! The road kinda curves a bit to the next light so I turn the handlebars and they just swing loose! I'm like 'fuck the steering is broken and I'm shooting down the road with no way to turn!!!! FUUUUUUCKK!'

I then calm down a split second later and just lean a bit to my left and the bike moves in that direction (god I love bikes for that) and at the same time ease up on the throttle. I then feel a little bump through the handlebars and realize I've been riding a tiny wheelie the whole way...hehehe, I'm so stupid! So I stop at the next light because it turned red and that pickup stops beside me again.

The guys in the truck are like "DUDE THAT WAS FUCKIN SWEET!" I look at em and nonchalantly say "yeah it was O K, nothing special." Then the light turned green and I took the left into Belmont Park and gave the bike back. I noticed that my hands were still kinda shaking from the adrenaline rush...god I love bikes!

Moment 4
I was riding home through Balboa Park by the San Diego zoo one day, when I got to the part of the road I loved. It was about half a mile long and kinda twisty. I usually tried to time it so there weren't any cars blocking the two lanes on my side so I could punch it. This is a 35mph zone, but trust me, it's much more fun on a bike going about 80+mph.

So I got to the "starting line" and punched it! I was having a ton of fun hanging off dragging my knee close to the ground and all the other shit you would typically see during a motorcycle race. But then the fun ends when you reach the stoplight :(

So I stopped, put my bike in neutral and sat up and used my gas tank as a drum while playing a tune in my head. I then noticed a flashing out of the corner of my eye and was like WTF? I then leaned forward to look in my rearview mirrors and sure enough, there was the police cruiser sitting right behind me. Fuck.

By this point it had gotten so routine I had all of my paperwork in a special pocket of my tankbag. The two cops came over and asked me if I knew why they pulled me over. I of course replied "Do I have a tail light out?" :) They're like "uh no, you seemed to be driving a little erratically back there and exceeding the speed limit." Me: "Really? damn I didn't realize I was speeding. I thought the speed limit through there was 65?"
Cop: "No sir, it's 35mph."
Me: "Damn, I could have sworn all two lane roads were 65mph for some reason. Live and learn I guess."
Cop: "Where were you going in such a hurry?"
Me: "Well, I live in that building right there, guess I was just in a hurry to get home since I was so close." Pointing at my apartment building less than a block away.
Cop: "Well we have to give you a ticket for speeding."
Me: "Crap, ok if you have to."

At this point I noticed they had a prisoner in the back seat.

Me: "Whoa, what did that guy do?"
Cop #2: "We can discuss that."
Me: "Ok. Wait, since you guys have a prisoner, that means you couldn't have chased me if I ran right?"
Cop #2: "Correct. Why? Were you thinking of running?"
Me: "Nah, I didn't even know you guys were there. I can't even pay attention to the speed limit, so what are my chances I'll even see you guys in time to run?"
Cop: "Hahahahah"
Cop #2: "Haha, good point."
Cop: "Tell ya what, since you're so close to your home and didn't make us chase you, we'll let you off with a warning."
Me: "Sweet! I promise not to speed again!"
Cop: "Sure buddy."
Cop #2: "Riiight, anyway, have a nice day sir."

God I miss California cops sometimes. They get a bad wrap all the time, but the ones I've met seem pretty damn cool.

I'll post more of these at some point.


posted by WarWolf at 5:19 PM 0 comments

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